Category: Spelling

Rejected and Worst Email of 2000

by Lindsey Loucks, posted in Grammar, Rejection, Spelling

Rejection is a sharp blade through the heart, digging and stinging. It hurts. I droop. I drag. I look like this:

After a deep breath, I yank the blade out and fling it away. I pick up my bottom lip. After all, it’s not the first time I’ve been rejected, and it won’t be the last. My latest short story “Together Forever” was rejected by an online magazine, so I sent it elsewhere. As writers, as humans, does anyone ever get used to rejection?

And now, for the moment you’ve all been waiting for. The number one worst email of 2000 is (dundundundudndundundundudndudndudnd *that’s a drum roll*):

Situation: A systems analyst created more problems when he wrote this e-mail to explain a problem.
E-mail:Will the unti cost in momsat that has change now since you have fix it—will it update THE AIM ICS STD COST TO-NIGHT Because I will need to send mass ICS act again because some Std(wrong) went to Vista—

Sandy also says that last yr he did not key ing sytle no that they were their with the cost and he just changed the cost What on lstovr

(taken from Worst e-mail contest winners. (2000, January 25). TechRepublic.)

Here’s my analysis: someone known as ‘The Aim’ has an STD that will cost them something serious to-night!!! Better get that checked out, ‘The Aim’.

Number 2

by Lindsey Loucks, posted in Funny, Grammar, Spelling

It’s the last two weeks of school. So, all I’m capable of doing is copying and pasting something from an old college assignment onto my blog. Sorry. I’ll be less brain dead never.

Here’s number 2 in the Worst E-mail of 2000 Contest: (taken from Worst e-mail contest winners. (2000, January 25). TechRepublic).

Situation:A salesman didn’t impress a potential customer when he pitched his product with this e-mail.
E-mail:Dear Mr.Jones,

Looking for a siample and easy installation device you don’t have to apply another telephone line but all staff in your office could connect Internet, buy another printer server, or buy another fax sever? Looking for the CD-R’s? Look no further. Right here. We are pleased to inform you that we can provide you these products exactly what you need.

It’s a bunch of started, but not finished, thoughts. *sigh* I can so relate… Ten more days.

My First Published Short Story and Number Three In the Worst Email Contest

by Lindsey Loucks, posted in Funny, Published, Spelling

Work Literary Magazine published my short story Alpha Female Office Wolf! I’m so excited! You can click on the title if you’d like to read it.

and

I just might be the only person who finds these horrible emails funny, but here is the number three worst email of 2000. Taken from: Worst e-mail contest winners. (2000, January 25). TechRepublic.

Situation: A customer who complained about software received this reply from the company’s “CustomerCare” department.

E-mail:
Dear ,
What probleme you refering to? We no problem have with window 98 or toher system. We do not have any problemsrunning on these operating system. None of our customer have such problem. What you talking about?

Thank You, “ CustomerCare”

Wow. That’s customer care? We big problem have with customer care. What you talking about?

Number 4 in the Worst Email Contest…

by Lindsey Loucks, posted in Funny, Grammar, Spelling

…in the year 2000. Old, but still funny. Taken from: Worst e-mail contest winners. (2000, January 25). TechRepublic.

Here it is:

Situation:
A student sent this e-mail to his computer instructor. Should the teacher deduct points from his next exam?

E-mail:
i am ussualy home before classes in the morning-before 9 on wed. and thursday.. and b4 1200on monday..of b4 2on tuesday.and friday

my major is microsoft networking i expect to learn how to better maintain a PC within a home and network inviorment..

Umm, huh? Maybe while this person is learning how to better maintain a PC, he/she can also learn some keyboarding and spelling skills.

Would you look at that? Suddenly the font size is growing, and I’m pretty sure I didn’t accidentally push something. Pretty sure… Okay, now I’m laughing at myself rather than the Number 4 in the Worst Email Contest.

How Teh Jumped Inside My Keyborad and Ruined My Spelling Forever

by Lindsey Loucks, posted in Funny, Spelling

Teh. It’s not a word but it should be. I’ve seen it all around the internets. At first, I had no idea what it meant. Then, when I read it in context, I realized it’s ‘the.’ Now when I type ‘the’, 88% of the time, I will type ‘teh.’ And it makes me angry. At myself and at people who don’t proofread.

So to make myself feel better, I’m posting the number five in the Worst Email Contest of 2000. Why 2000? Why not 2010 or 2011? Because I only have teh (dang it!) tttthhhheee results from 2000. Here it is, number five:

Situation: A systems analyst created more problems when he wrote this e-mail to explain a problem.
E-mail: Will the unti cost in momsat that has change now since you have fix it—will it update THE AIM ICS STD COST TO-NIGHT Because I will need to send mass ICS act again because some Std(wrong) went to Vista—

Sandy also says that last yr he did not key ing sytle no that they were their with the cost and he just changed the cost What on lstovr

Taken from: Worst e-mail contest winners. (2000, January 25). TechRepublic.
I’m pretty sure this is some kind of foreign language that kind of sort of resembles English. You’ll probably go blind if you try to decipher it for too long.
Have any misspellings jumped inside your keyboard?